I don't expect people to actually read nor care about this post, I just want to randomly write my feelings here.
Me as a person, feel incredibly happy. I could never be happier, actually I'm getting my doses of happiness even more everyday. That is thanks to the wonderful people I have beside me today and the ones to come.
Me as a artist... Horrible, for many my art its a gift and awesome talent. I'm grateful to life to have giving me the opportunity to be the artist I am. But as a greedy person I am, I feel so downward on the road of continuing with grace and so belittling myself of my own talent. I make no sense on that sentence, I know that. But that's the feeling I get. I get so frustrated that at times I want to erase everything I got put up in the internet and never grab a pencil, pen, tablet in my life. At times I end up in tears. Then suddenly I make something amazing, its gets me going happily on my road for better peace of mind, then my art block strikes again and I don't want and or struggle a lot to finish old project or try to make new ones. Yes I draw porn, so what, even that its difficult for me when I'm like that. I think I'm letting people down and myself even deeper on the hole. For example right now... I just wanna sick to the bottom of the ocean. I see artist better and worst than me... not making me happy; Even though I know they have also struggle with the same situations, but with their results it seems like that was nothing...
I know its nothing to cry about, yet its a horrible feeling...
Thursday, February 9, 2012
Wednesday, July 27, 2011
The best years (of my life)
Hello everyone!! I present to you my comic, story by the writes of Xpin-Off Creative Group, illustrated by me.
The Best Years (of my life) is about this young boy named Noah encountering the everyday calamities of high-school life. Three gorgeous yet very different girls on his distant reach Megan, Rachel and Sookie. Yet he seems to not be moved to better himself, not wanting to be noticed for a "better" and easy way in and out of this three (worst or best) years of his life and now receiving help whether he wants or not from his best friend J.P., the coolest guy in school, that want the very best for him.
Discussion with Thyself
Sometimes in life we made choices that could fuck up everything. The way you play out your cards may be difficult. But if you can should with reasoning and not with what seems best as the first choice, can really do one wrong and can at times ruined something good. Play your cards right and have a happy life!
Moral of the blog: "Don't be an idiot"
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Would you forgive me... I just stepped on you heart and we are still friends
So yeah... recently a person close to me decided to reveal its true colors.
Bitch should bury his face, but still handles the world with chin as high and its ego.Play with me, with its last girlfriend and my best friends feelings. Me I don't really care, for a time now I have already lost faith in this person and the respect I totally discard after the incident. Still this person lied to everyone around him and some of the individuals caught in this ordeal still talk to it. I don't give a shit about him anymore, you of all people, I never though you could actually sell yourself out so low and become what you preach to be bad excuse of a man. If he ever see this blog post, I'm happy for it.
I really cared for him, loved him with all my heart and it saddens me that I still do. He was one of my closest and lovable friend. How could have you done something like so? How can you live with your own self conscience? I really do hope I could and can one day forgive you for what you have done. I really do hope God can forgive you for such a thing and that the self confidence you got on yourself never wares out.
In other news... the pic above its how i portrait this guy! :)
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
UGGGH!
Dear public diary:
My metal health is pretty crappy, understand that I have been trying my best to succeed even if other wish I didn't or life it self gets in my way!
I rule!! I ♥ u public diary!! :D
-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-
Its been a while since I did anything for my blogs so I'll go and write about life.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease. Very beautiful indeed. I love been sick with Life, even though this sickness can get so hard you want to just cure the hell out of it, its better to just keep fighting to get ill. Life also bring other symptoms such as sadness, grief, pain, hate that secondary symptoms are tears, shorten of breath, angry burst and even outburst of violence. But don't forget that other symptoms are happiness, joy and greater than all the good ailments the symptom that its more contagious is LOVE, this also could bring tears, but they are so sweet and warm its pain free. I love this sickness and LOVE its a very awesome sickness too, so go and spread this LOVE sickness as to many people that you can. Life is precious and LOVE is more, what is LIFE without LOVE, its to be DEAD on the inside and ROTTEN on the outside.
If you truly want to be loved, love and be lovable
Spread LIFE in a very safe way, or else they'll be so much life infected people that you won't be able to think things straight.
-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-♥-
My metal health is pretty crappy, understand that I have been trying my best to succeed even if other wish I didn't or life it self gets in my way!
I rule!! I ♥ u public diary!! :D
Its been a while since I did anything for my blogs so I'll go and write about life.
Life is a sexually transmitted disease. Very beautiful indeed. I love been sick with Life, even though this sickness can get so hard you want to just cure the hell out of it, its better to just keep fighting to get ill. Life also bring other symptoms such as sadness, grief, pain, hate that secondary symptoms are tears, shorten of breath, angry burst and even outburst of violence. But don't forget that other symptoms are happiness, joy and greater than all the good ailments the symptom that its more contagious is LOVE, this also could bring tears, but they are so sweet and warm its pain free. I love this sickness and LOVE its a very awesome sickness too, so go and spread this LOVE sickness as to many people that you can. Life is precious and LOVE is more, what is LIFE without LOVE, its to be DEAD on the inside and ROTTEN on the outside.
Spread LIFE in a very safe way, or else they'll be so much life infected people that you won't be able to think things straight.
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
One of My Styles of Coloring
Either You use Photoshop successfully or are still learning, I made it from sratch. Enjoy my "tutorial" on color, again I'll say its it the style I have created for my own use of what I've learn and ask of other artist that have been kind enough to teach and give me pointers and of all the tutorial I have read on my free time.
This is a simple way I use to color my drawings. After I have the drawing finish and ready to began coloring, If its completely digital is easier to color I just create the same layers I'm a bout to use under the line work or sketch drawing. But I will color it as if I'm coloring a scanned work with by default has a white background.
-First Creating folder sets to hold my layer separately. I made here the Flat and the Shadow layers. and also made a light layer but separated and before the color set that it above the line set.
In this image I also already created an extra layer to hold the colors I want to use in the image.
Layers By default com on 'Normal' blend, now here I change it to 'Multiply'. This way I can color over my image and still keep the lines of my drawing intact.
After creating and arranging each layer to multiply, I go to renaming the set for the different areas I'll color. I change the first one to 'skin', in her case means her furr. I say its better to keep the colors of the different section of the drawing in different layers and sets, this way it will be easier to color.
After I'm done with renaming I go to 'Duplicate' the set and renamed them with their respective names. You can do this 'right' clicking on the folder set and selecting 'Duplicate Layer Set'. Now I'm done with duplicating as many Sets I need.
I've created a Skin, body and hair 'Sets'. I name body everything on the body the is not skin, meaning eyes, nails, and delicate body parts.
Now I can color on my 'Flat' layers without touching my lines and able to keep them intact. On the 'Body' I use the smudge tool to blend in a little the lips on her and other part that i may need to blend on to the skin.
I use Photoshop default brushes more often, this is the brush I use often as my smudge tool called 'Airbrush Pen Opacity flow'.
And here you can see I'm done with the Flat coloring.
Now I'll go with the shadowing of my drawings. I use a Default brush again for this one its called 'Wet Sponge'.
I use this brush on 60% to 50% of opacity so I can gradually darken my flat color. And I choose a slightly not so darker version of my flat color. Or at times I only use gray color not so dark, but neither to light.
I chose my layer Flat color completely using the magic wand tool or either you can right click the layer you want to color over and select 'Select Layer Transparency'. Now I go to color my Shadow Layer. I color to what i want the lighting to hit the drawing of and very fast.
After I choose, I go slowly over the drawing using the smudge tool to blend the color and give it a smooth ending. Here I go smoothing the ends and adding and erasing shadow over the drawing, until I'm satisfy.
And I go a do the same with every other color left.
After I'm satisfy with the outcome of the shadow I go to adding the light. Lately for this type of shadowing I use I've been giving them a very strong Light without blending over it. I think It give it a more cartoonish ending.
And that's is one of my styles in coloring, Its my most current use. But I will publish one of my most complex one later.
This is the out come of the picture with some other layers adding too.
This is a simple way I use to color my drawings. After I have the drawing finish and ready to began coloring, If its completely digital is easier to color I just create the same layers I'm a bout to use under the line work or sketch drawing. But I will color it as if I'm coloring a scanned work with by default has a white background.
-First Creating folder sets to hold my layer separately. I made here the Flat and the Shadow layers. and also made a light layer but separated and before the color set that it above the line set.
In this image I also already created an extra layer to hold the colors I want to use in the image.
Layers By default com on 'Normal' blend, now here I change it to 'Multiply'. This way I can color over my image and still keep the lines of my drawing intact.
After creating and arranging each layer to multiply, I go to renaming the set for the different areas I'll color. I change the first one to 'skin', in her case means her furr. I say its better to keep the colors of the different section of the drawing in different layers and sets, this way it will be easier to color.
After I'm done with renaming I go to 'Duplicate' the set and renamed them with their respective names. You can do this 'right' clicking on the folder set and selecting 'Duplicate Layer Set'. Now I'm done with duplicating as many Sets I need.
I've created a Skin, body and hair 'Sets'. I name body everything on the body the is not skin, meaning eyes, nails, and delicate body parts.
Now I can color on my 'Flat' layers without touching my lines and able to keep them intact. On the 'Body' I use the smudge tool to blend in a little the lips on her and other part that i may need to blend on to the skin.
I use Photoshop default brushes more often, this is the brush I use often as my smudge tool called 'Airbrush Pen Opacity flow'.
And here you can see I'm done with the Flat coloring.
Now I'll go with the shadowing of my drawings. I use a Default brush again for this one its called 'Wet Sponge'.
I use this brush on 60% to 50% of opacity so I can gradually darken my flat color. And I choose a slightly not so darker version of my flat color. Or at times I only use gray color not so dark, but neither to light.
I chose my layer Flat color completely using the magic wand tool or either you can right click the layer you want to color over and select 'Select Layer Transparency'. Now I go to color my Shadow Layer. I color to what i want the lighting to hit the drawing of and very fast.
After I choose, I go slowly over the drawing using the smudge tool to blend the color and give it a smooth ending. Here I go smoothing the ends and adding and erasing shadow over the drawing, until I'm satisfy.
And I go a do the same with every other color left.
After I'm satisfy with the outcome of the shadow I go to adding the light. Lately for this type of shadowing I use I've been giving them a very strong Light without blending over it. I think It give it a more cartoonish ending.
And that's is one of my styles in coloring, Its my most current use. But I will publish one of my most complex one later.
This is the out come of the picture with some other layers adding too.
Monday, July 26, 2010
My Welcome to Xpin Off Creative Group
I'm so happy to be on this group, Slowly but progressively We WILL raise!!
Xpin-Off Creative Group @Facebook.
We already have a project on the GO!! Wish us the Best of Luck people!!
Xpin-Off Creative Group @Facebook.
We already have a project on the GO!! Wish us the Best of Luck people!!
Friday, July 16, 2010
Starting over
I'll be posting here from time to time updates of my babie blogs, But I'll be using this blog to write stories, share (with due permission) stories that I've liked or that have been written to be. Any Adult like Stories will be posted in a separated document since I don't plan to write everything in adult, people mite not enjoy so much!
And also I'll be using this to rant anything I like and write also about myself!!
So Enjoy your stay here
CMVM♥
Sunday, May 2, 2010
Friday, February 19, 2010
Fant art - Naruto
Some yaoi stuff i made, not really big Stuff. Other drawing are found at my DA
http://cmvm.deviantart.com/
This one was a request, i don't really remember who made it, cuz i never did finish this one, people are missing, their spouse to be on an ally beside a busy street. and a little girl got a glimps on what they where doing!! :P I'm evil
http://cmvm.deviantart.com/
This one was a request, i don't really remember who made it, cuz i never did finish this one, people are missing, their spouse to be on an ally beside a busy street. and a little girl got a glimps on what they where doing!! :P I'm evil
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Look out for the Blah Blah Blah!!
oh CHARLIE~~!!!
me be tired now. Been checking some art and design college over the internet on PA, Still dont know if im heading over there to study. I starting in my own little tropical island to study this, but i think i have better chance on the States. The have the BIG companies there!! :O
Kinda tired of updating But i wont STOP!!! i will post, post and POST!!
Love ya all!! :D
me be tired now. Been checking some art and design college over the internet on PA, Still dont know if im heading over there to study. I starting in my own little tropical island to study this, but i think i have better chance on the States. The have the BIG companies there!! :O
Kinda tired of updating But i wont STOP!!! i will post, post and POST!!
Love ya all!! :D
Fant art - Spider MAN (GREEN GOBLING)
This one was a commission from a friend of mine. I enjoyed it very much, the coloring process was the fun part, but had a hard time in the line art will been in the helmet, it was hellish.
But after it i felt very good!!
But after it i felt very good!!
Fant art - Mortal Kombat
Im not a dying fan of the game, but i do love the bloody fighting and violence we obtain from this wonderful game.
My Fandom of this game is Mileena, i love that woman, Most people are more happy about Kitana, But me i go with the full of hate and violent Demon face Woman. and we have Kitana the lovely kicking as princess and we have my AWESOMELY Bad Ass Demon Woman Mileena, full of kicking hatred for the princess.
Some Sketches i made of here and some unfinished works to. I'm so very sorry :(
This next one i did on PhotoShop completely, made me specially happy since i never did a successfully finish background of any sort.
This one has the most progress, im still deciding on the flat colors, but i have this ones so far.
I know to bright , right?? I know it suck the brightness, but i will finish it successfully later on, The background on this one still a little fuzzy for me, I love it, but still think it needs more practice and details, kinda.
This one is Scorpion, My lover boy of MK who doesnt enjoy a good "Come Over HERE" :D
This one was a gift. I enjoy very much the making on this one. Actually this one was one of my first work to ever be painted on PhotoShop. was still a newbie, still am, but excuse me for the mistakes that it may have.
This Scorpion is still very much unfinished. Im going for an still humane Scorpion.
I hope i did a good job.
already decided on the flat coloring, will finish it later.
This one is my own version of the Cyborgs of the MK games. I call her Krimzon.
Some sketches and color goodies.
The first one is the Original color of her body, it was the color i got from uniting the three diferent colors of the bodies of the MK cyborgs. The other three are ALT for her.
She was spouse to be a MK Mugen project but was left unfinished, maybe I'll see here in a MK Mugen game, don't know.
If you do see here, please so tell me!! Would love to see her!!
My Fandom of this game is Mileena, i love that woman, Most people are more happy about Kitana, But me i go with the full of hate and violent Demon face Woman. and we have Kitana the lovely kicking as princess and we have my AWESOMELY Bad Ass Demon Woman Mileena, full of kicking hatred for the princess.
Some Sketches i made of here and some unfinished works to. I'm so very sorry :(
This next one i did on PhotoShop completely, made me specially happy since i never did a successfully finish background of any sort.
This one has the most progress, im still deciding on the flat colors, but i have this ones so far.
I know to bright , right?? I know it suck the brightness, but i will finish it successfully later on, The background on this one still a little fuzzy for me, I love it, but still think it needs more practice and details, kinda.
This one is Scorpion, My lover boy of MK who doesnt enjoy a good "Come Over HERE" :D
This one was a gift. I enjoy very much the making on this one. Actually this one was one of my first work to ever be painted on PhotoShop. was still a newbie, still am, but excuse me for the mistakes that it may have.
This Scorpion is still very much unfinished. Im going for an still humane Scorpion.
I hope i did a good job.
already decided on the flat coloring, will finish it later.
This one is my own version of the Cyborgs of the MK games. I call her Krimzon.
Some sketches and color goodies.
The first one is the Original color of her body, it was the color i got from uniting the three diferent colors of the bodies of the MK cyborgs. The other three are ALT for her.
She was spouse to be a MK Mugen project but was left unfinished, maybe I'll see here in a MK Mugen game, don't know.
If you do see here, please so tell me!! Would love to see her!!
Fant art - Smash Bros
Who doesn't love Snake. That all I'm going to say :D
kinda like Invader Zim stylish.
kinda like Invader Zim stylish.
Fant art - Megaman Zero
Zero is one of my loves to never come true!! *sigh* sadly!!
I'm in love with all of the Mega-man Games, specially the ones that contains Zero on it!
yeah i love a lot of this, i'm that lovable!! :D
This is a W.I.P. work. believe me i will color this one like so soon!!
but for now enjoy the Line Art of Zero just getting out of his capsule, and pretty mad for some reason! :D
I'm in love with all of the Mega-man Games, specially the ones that contains Zero on it!
yeah i love a lot of this, i'm that lovable!! :D
This is a W.I.P. work. believe me i will color this one like so soon!!
but for now enjoy the Line Art of Zero just getting out of his capsule, and pretty mad for some reason! :D
Fant art - LUNAR
This was made on Y-Gallery as a request a bit long time ago.
My requester was Pandor
his page is written on the picture, I did the Line Work he did the Coloring.
My requester was Pandor
his page is written on the picture, I did the Line Work he did the Coloring.
Fant art - KYO KARA MAOU!
I'm a Big FAN of this series, will be forever waiting on the fourth season that they still not sure if they will make. I don't HOPE that they will!!!! I love it!!
and like a big Fan I am, I just love their original couple, still struggling to end up together for real!!
Is my dearies Yuuri and Wolfram.
their in the companion of Morgif, Demon King Yuuri's sword like spirit Demon.
He is just adorable!!!
This image was made for my y-gallery, at first it was just one image, but then i decided to make it a short book I named Goodnight My King , i will finish it later, i just need to finish to color it.
I will put on sale if i can laters on.
If your interested well just comment me
Hopefully by the end of FEB i would have already have most color.
and like a big Fan I am, I just love their original couple, still struggling to end up together for real!!
Is my dearies Yuuri and Wolfram.
their in the companion of Morgif, Demon King Yuuri's sword like spirit Demon.
He is just adorable!!!
This image was made for my y-gallery, at first it was just one image, but then i decided to make it a short book I named Goodnight My King , i will finish it later, i just need to finish to color it.
I will put on sale if i can laters on.
If your interested well just comment me
Hopefully by the end of FEB i would have already have most color.
Fant art - KINGDOM HEARTS
Who doesn't love this!! :D
anyways i did this little chibis back at my high school!! it was so funny!! i love it.
Is like in somewhat fan girls believe was what really happen!! and we want to believe it so!! :D
KH 1
and this is for KH 2
This one i did not so long ago!! been wanting to make some arties of KH for so long, don't worry you people, i'll make some normal of them, until then enjoy this shounen couple!!
I will color this once i get the chance!! :D
anyways i did this little chibis back at my high school!! it was so funny!! i love it.
Is like in somewhat fan girls believe was what really happen!! and we want to believe it so!! :D
KH 1
and this is for KH 2
This one i did not so long ago!! been wanting to make some arties of KH for so long, don't worry you people, i'll make some normal of them, until then enjoy this shounen couple!!
I will color this once i get the chance!! :D
Fant art - Gurren Lagann
Or somewhat for the fan!! Well the Viral Fans, and more in the other than normal!! :D
anyways here's a chibi i made the first time i saw him!! it was so fast it looks so funny!!
and this i did for my Yaoi Gallery, its ok to look at it! if your not found of yaoi it doesn't hurt the eyes of not lovers to see it!!
anyways here's a chibi i made the first time i saw him!! it was so fast it looks so funny!!
and this i did for my Yaoi Gallery, its ok to look at it! if your not found of yaoi it doesn't hurt the eyes of not lovers to see it!!
Saturday, February 6, 2010
uuuuhhhg RANT
That's For now!! Dont get me wring, there a lot of images need to be put up!! im just tired for the day!! is kinda like 2 am in the morning i should be sleeping!! I have like 180 images left to put, and like 100 or 200 something images separately from my gaia accounts that i have made so far!! and the new ones im making!! YAYs for progress!!
RANT:
I have no job with it sucks and struggling with my own feeling after the Current Events going on in my life right now!!
No JOB is like the first, meaning no money to do any shit i wanna do, like buying new clothes, or just fooling around buying stuff i dont really need but just enjoy having like MANGA and Anime DVD's or games, which i have to buy a console first since i sold mine to my friend cuz i needed money!! F**K anyways, continue
FAMILY currently suck ass!! My sister and her children are a pain in the nugget of internal organs!! I just wann beat the Shoot out of her!!! and My parent do shit about it!! with it sucks ass!!
Im SINGLE, which it hurts like crap, ex decided to finally ended after i have struggle for 2 years and 3 month to make it work after a series of event I'm not going to rant about now or ever. "And just having the time of my life hanging around in my room". Friends are Lovable but is still hard for me!! Love you GUYS!!!!
Current Computer could be better!! i have a monitor that turns yellow for some reason at times, have to hit it hard to get back again to its normal state, MY computer needs a better memory, i mean larger!! i have only a 512 working one!! which sucks the life out of me when i wanna use photoshop!! but still work, SLOWLY, but works!! is not helping me progress as much!!
NEED NEW GLASSES!! imma go blind if i continue, but going back NO JOB, means NO MONEY, getting me to NO NEW GLASSES. Sucks to be me!! >O
Also need money to buy my new stuff for the NEW period of my live call COLLEGE!! is YAY for me!! im happy about it!! but suck not having any money and the freaking college been so freaking again from me!! >OOO AAHHHHH!!! but im happy for myself there!! :DD
ok ENDs of RANT!!
oooohh that felt good!! YAYs for me!!!
RANT:
I have no job with it sucks and struggling with my own feeling after the Current Events going on in my life right now!!
No JOB is like the first, meaning no money to do any shit i wanna do, like buying new clothes, or just fooling around buying stuff i dont really need but just enjoy having like MANGA and Anime DVD's or games, which i have to buy a console first since i sold mine to my friend cuz i needed money!! F**K anyways, continue
FAMILY currently suck ass!! My sister and her children are a pain in the nugget of internal organs!! I just wann beat the Shoot out of her!!! and My parent do shit about it!! with it sucks ass!!
Im SINGLE, which it hurts like crap, ex decided to finally ended after i have struggle for 2 years and 3 month to make it work after a series of event I'm not going to rant about now or ever. "And just having the time of my life hanging around in my room". Friends are Lovable but is still hard for me!! Love you GUYS!!!!
Current Computer could be better!! i have a monitor that turns yellow for some reason at times, have to hit it hard to get back again to its normal state, MY computer needs a better memory, i mean larger!! i have only a 512 working one!! which sucks the life out of me when i wanna use photoshop!! but still work, SLOWLY, but works!! is not helping me progress as much!!
NEED NEW GLASSES!! imma go blind if i continue, but going back NO JOB, means NO MONEY, getting me to NO NEW GLASSES. Sucks to be me!! >O
Also need money to buy my new stuff for the NEW period of my live call COLLEGE!! is YAY for me!! im happy about it!! but suck not having any money and the freaking college been so freaking again from me!! >OOO AAHHHHH!!! but im happy for myself there!! :DD
ok ENDs of RANT!!
oooohh that felt good!! YAYs for me!!!
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